my sister goes back to the covid unit tonight after a week off

she texts me all day about her anxiety

just last night she cried on FaceTime with me, our last string to intimacy in this viral age

after the last droplet falls

she tells me nothing is that serious anymore apart from this pandemic

her way of telling me what we once had stressed or obsessed over are so insignificant with this new lens

she cries and says [she] can’t take any of this serious when [they] have so many codes every week

that [her] patients status can change so quickly

i can’t help to think that so many people die alone daily

that they aren’t giving her hospital workers hazardous pay,

that they are forcing her into the covid unit,

that nurses have already caught the virus and had to be isolated from their families

not even given a chance to give their children a hug goodbye or their spouse one last kiss if the worst were to come

what really changes the scope is that this virus doesn’t allow the end of life processes that chronic illness allow us

no time to forgive others, no time to see the people they love as far as they may be one last time

no time to be held one last time

no time to wake up with sweet whispers and morning breath kisses

no time to sit under a tree and enjoy being in the warm rays of the sun again with their favorite book

no time to walk down the block to their favorite park listening to their favorite album

no time to hold hands and kiss in restaurants on the same side of the booth

no time to toss your legs over fences you shouldn’t be hopping and leaping headfirst into adventure

no time to wipe the tears of the people who will question everything once they are gone

if there is a time for love and gratitude to be prioritized it is now

if not, what else can we make of this?

if you don’t want to run all the way, full force, and deep dive into a life where we can take this tragedy and make it a daily reminder for the simplest beauty that felt so overlooked and mundane before… then what will you take from this?

i feel like im melting, im changing, i want to pour that into myself and into everyone i care for, and cry for, and pray for

so ready for the free fall, take all of my faith, because

looking up at the same moon, wondering under the same stars, we aren’t so different, we aren’t so alone…

…what else can we make of this?

the words & thoughts of a woman you found elsewhere.