in a dream you would sit down next to me and take the toothbrush out of my tightly gripped fingers and kiss the palm of my hand

you would wipe my tears and take a towel to my runny mouth

we would sit at the end of the room staring at the mess i made

you would put my hand in yours and warm them up with rubbing motions, i feel so tired, your shoulder seems like the perfect place to rest my head

you forgive me, so i try to forgive myself

it’s just a relapse, what else could i do?

where could i take out all of this sadness, if not straight from my mouth.

i need a warm hole of forgiveness to curl up into, i wish it were you.

maybe i require too much support, too much love, too much abnormality… this loneliness isn’t made for two.